No-no…not that person that you've waited your whole life for. Who everytime you see them, your heart skips a beat. I mean that ONE person that has absolutely NO filter WHATSOEVER between their thoughts and what actually dribbles out of their mouth. See! I knew you would know what I mean as it seems we all have one of THOSE people around.
Yeah. To get to my point, this is just a sampling of the stupidity and rudeness that has departed the lips of That ONE Person.
So a couple years ago, about nine months after we had moved from Utah down to the Phoenix area, I flew up to Salt Lake City for a visit with friends and family. While on my little weekend getaway, I had plans to go see a concert with my mom, sister and an old friend/That ONE Person (who also happened to work with my mom).
So we go to the concert, it’s a really nice time, very entertaining and I was pretty happy to spend some time with Mom, Sister, and That ONE Person. Concert ends, and now it’s time to get on home. I carpooled with my sister and That ONE Person to my sister’s house where That ONE Person’s car was parked. As That ONE Person gets out of the car she says, “It was really nice seeing you Janae!.....Well…..not really. I mean, it’s not like we really got to see you that much when you lived up here anyway.” That ONE Person exits the car and leaves. Oh. My. Gosh. Did That ONE Person REALLY just say that?! Of course That ONE Person really just said that because That ONE Person ALWAYS says thoughtless, sometimes rude/sometime just plain cruel things like that. Not really a shocker, but sometimes it comes at the least expected moment and you have no idea how to respond or if you even should.
Here’s another little gem…..
Not long after the concert incident, That ONE Person was at work with my mom. Another co-worker was talking about her little brother, who has Down’s Syndrome, and how amazing he is and how much she just loves him.
Enter That ONE Person and her thoughtless opinion: “Why didn’t your Mom just have an abortion if she knew he was like that?! Special Needs people are just a waste of space!”
Unbelievable.
I’m still undecided if That ONE Person’s rudeness is a mental disorder, a social environment thing, or just because That ONE Person, to put it simply, is a complete ASS!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
R.I.P. Mankind!
I write this today with much regret and disappointment, yet somehow without surprise. I write this today because no one will be able to write this from our perspective when the time is actually appropriate because well, we’ll all be dead. Gone. Non-existent. You get the idea.
Cause of death: Acute Entitlement. ( I just know you’re feeling entitled to an exact definition, so it can be summed up as a SEVERE case of feeling that one is deserving, or entitled, to certain privileges). There you go, making my argument for me! I really don’t even have to go on, but you know I will. Oh, yes. There is so much more to say.
Where oh where do I begin? Okay, long ago when we were a less-whiny bunch, there used to be this awesome thing called personal responsibility (pretty self-explanatory) and if you didn’t have any, the consequences would sort you out. Simply put: it paid to be responsible and do the right thing by yourself and others. Fast-forward to the present day. We’ve now taken the whole consequence thing out of the picture and now it actually PAYS to be irresponsible and reliant on others for E-VER-Y-THING. Yep. Don’t have a job? No worries, the government (tax payers) will pay you not to work. Don’t have health insurance? Fear-not, my fellow human, you have that now too at the expense of other hard-working, self-reliant types!
Man, life is good. The less productive you are, the more subsidies you receive. Cha-ching! What with all that free food, money, healthcare and whatnot, why roll out of bed at the crack of dawn, make yourself presentable and find a damn job? Do you feel bad about it? Hell no, cause you’re entitled! (there’s that word again). Now after months, perhaps years, of living on your neighbor’s dime, you start to get a little bit annoyed that they have all these nice things. That’s just unfair! They get to go on vacation and you don’t. Fortunately for you, if you’re a European human, you (the entitled one) now have a RIGHT to take a little beach holiday because traveling for tourism applies to the whole “quality of life” thing and thus is now a basic “human right”. Pack your bags, free loaders of the world, because you are takin’ a vacay from your tough, tough life. Not because you are deserving of a getaway, but simply because you’re entitled to one. Speaking for all the hard-working, self-reliant, responsible people, I hope you enjoy that little bonus because we probably won’t be going on any sunny, beach holidays any time soon as we will be paying out our ears to support your apathetic lifestyle.
Let me be clear, the human race, in my humble opinion, has peaked logic-wise. We’ve gone from being the greatest, most innovative and self-reliant people to the most selfish and helpless ones in the history of mankind in a mere 50 years. This rapid decline of logic and reason is the proverbial “time bomb” waiting to go off. No one is immune to the disease of Acute Entitlement sweeping the globe. It is highly contagious.
Here’s how it will all go down:
Scenario 1- all the people who SHOULD be dealing with major, actual issues, will instead be consumed with improving your quality of life and “human rights” (entitlements). Meanwhile, the megalomaniacs of the world will be developing ways to wipe entire nations of the planet. But that isn’t important. Nah, that’s just silly talk…dictators, nuclear warheads….la-de-da-de-da. KABOOM! The end.
Scenario 2- (the most likely scenario) Half the population will be waiting for their handout and the other half will grow tired of giving it and instead demand theirs as well. This in turn will result in zero funding for all the megalomaniacs and their ambitions. They too will fall prey to the vicious ill of Acute Entitlement. The days leading up to our certain implosion will be like watching a scary movie with brain-munching zombies, only we’ll be entitlement-demanding zombies with no one left to provide us with our basic “human rights”.
Cause of death: Acute Entitlement. ( I just know you’re feeling entitled to an exact definition, so it can be summed up as a SEVERE case of feeling that one is deserving, or entitled, to certain privileges). There you go, making my argument for me! I really don’t even have to go on, but you know I will. Oh, yes. There is so much more to say.
Where oh where do I begin? Okay, long ago when we were a less-whiny bunch, there used to be this awesome thing called personal responsibility (pretty self-explanatory) and if you didn’t have any, the consequences would sort you out. Simply put: it paid to be responsible and do the right thing by yourself and others. Fast-forward to the present day. We’ve now taken the whole consequence thing out of the picture and now it actually PAYS to be irresponsible and reliant on others for E-VER-Y-THING. Yep. Don’t have a job? No worries, the government (tax payers) will pay you not to work. Don’t have health insurance? Fear-not, my fellow human, you have that now too at the expense of other hard-working, self-reliant types!
Man, life is good. The less productive you are, the more subsidies you receive. Cha-ching! What with all that free food, money, healthcare and whatnot, why roll out of bed at the crack of dawn, make yourself presentable and find a damn job? Do you feel bad about it? Hell no, cause you’re entitled! (there’s that word again). Now after months, perhaps years, of living on your neighbor’s dime, you start to get a little bit annoyed that they have all these nice things. That’s just unfair! They get to go on vacation and you don’t. Fortunately for you, if you’re a European human, you (the entitled one) now have a RIGHT to take a little beach holiday because traveling for tourism applies to the whole “quality of life” thing and thus is now a basic “human right”. Pack your bags, free loaders of the world, because you are takin’ a vacay from your tough, tough life. Not because you are deserving of a getaway, but simply because you’re entitled to one. Speaking for all the hard-working, self-reliant, responsible people, I hope you enjoy that little bonus because we probably won’t be going on any sunny, beach holidays any time soon as we will be paying out our ears to support your apathetic lifestyle.
Let me be clear, the human race, in my humble opinion, has peaked logic-wise. We’ve gone from being the greatest, most innovative and self-reliant people to the most selfish and helpless ones in the history of mankind in a mere 50 years. This rapid decline of logic and reason is the proverbial “time bomb” waiting to go off. No one is immune to the disease of Acute Entitlement sweeping the globe. It is highly contagious.
Here’s how it will all go down:
Scenario 1- all the people who SHOULD be dealing with major, actual issues, will instead be consumed with improving your quality of life and “human rights” (entitlements). Meanwhile, the megalomaniacs of the world will be developing ways to wipe entire nations of the planet. But that isn’t important. Nah, that’s just silly talk…dictators, nuclear warheads….la-de-da-de-da. KABOOM! The end.
Scenario 2- (the most likely scenario) Half the population will be waiting for their handout and the other half will grow tired of giving it and instead demand theirs as well. This in turn will result in zero funding for all the megalomaniacs and their ambitions. They too will fall prey to the vicious ill of Acute Entitlement. The days leading up to our certain implosion will be like watching a scary movie with brain-munching zombies, only we’ll be entitlement-demanding zombies with no one left to provide us with our basic “human rights”.
Monday, April 19, 2010
I'm Sure That Whatever You're Saying Is Really Important, But I Just Can't Get Past That Bit Of Food Stuck Between Your Teeth.
Yep, we've all been there.
And it can happen without warning. You can be minding your own business or lost in la-la land and BAM! You have an unexpected encounter with someone who just finished their lunch like thirty-four seconds ago. On this particular occasion, Miss That-Spinach-Dip-Was-Super-Yummy (who is also rather important and whose job description includes bossing you around) has something she really needs to talk to you about. The second she opens her mouth, it's all over. There it is, that little chunk of dark green grossness is staring at you. Taunting you. Any outside noise has abruptly gone into slow-mo and all you hear is very low-pitched mumblings of blah blah blah blah blah (insert really important task) blah blah blah blah blah blah blah deadline blah blah blah I need you to blah blah blah blah blah blah is that okay?. HUH?! What was that? Stupid spinach dip! Okay, rewind: Really important task, deadline, she needs me to do something and is that okay. Hmmm...So then you find yourself scrambling for clever questions that can give you some clue as to what the hell was just said because you were focused like a laser beam on that dang spinach. Oh what's the point? No amount of clever questioning is going to save you on this one because, well, quite frankly that spinach is still there mocking you. You couldn't process any words if your life depended on it.
Spinach-1, You-0.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
To Blog Or Not To Blog
Here I am. Just me and my silly little ponderings. My original plan was to do exactly this: Create a blog. Then a wave of laziness got the best of me so I opted for the Facebook notes instead. That was fine, but it wasn't quite what I had in mind. A few keystrokes and five minutes later, I had created new email and Blogger accounts and VOILA! Deep Thoughts Whilst Shaving My Legs (the official blog) is born. My little brain-child is here....alive and well! I hope you know me well enough not to take me or my little mid-shave ponderings too seriously as I do not wish to offend. Simply put- these are just my little musings.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
The Cocktail Party
....Somewhere, in a stately manor tucked away in total seclusion, sits a group of wealthy (hey, I got nothin' against wealth--who doesn't want to be successful??) men and women with 'D's and 'R's after their names branding them with their respective political party. In public they are bitter enemies. They've just enjoyed a supremely delicious five course meal and have now retreated to the parlour for post-feast cocktails. How nice.
Meanwhile, in cyberspace, two average U.S. citizens are having a war of words on the comment board at the bottom of their political blog of choice: "Yeah, well you're a socialist douchebag!" says one. "Whatever, tea-bagger!" says the other. It goes on and on and and ON resulting in each person's opinion virtually unchanged and hours of precious life wasted. Hours they will be wishing they had one day many years from now.
Now-back to the hoity-toity cocktail party. (ting-ting-ting) A toast! Well ladies and gentlemen, job well done! Looks like we have successfully turned stranger against stranger and neighbor against neighbor. Fools...If they only knew how one-in-the-same we actually are."
Meanwhile, in cyberspace, two average U.S. citizens are having a war of words on the comment board at the bottom of their political blog of choice: "Yeah, well you're a socialist douchebag!" says one. "Whatever, tea-bagger!" says the other. It goes on and on and and ON resulting in each person's opinion virtually unchanged and hours of precious life wasted. Hours they will be wishing they had one day many years from now.
Now-back to the hoity-toity cocktail party. (ting-ting-ting) A toast! Well ladies and gentlemen, job well done! Looks like we have successfully turned stranger against stranger and neighbor against neighbor. Fools...If they only knew how one-in-the-same we actually are."
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